Mistakes
KIND WORDS
Mistakes
Confessions of a Kindness Addict
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
Doing kindness is addictive. If we really want to do kindness, the opportunities will always arise.
One day I had an irresistible urge to do kindness the whole day. As I was walking to the supermarket during my lunch hour, I hoped the whole time that I would have an opportunity to do an act of kindness.
When I left the supermarket, on the way back to my office, I was walking behind an elderly lady who was holding a handful of groceries. I was afraid to approach her and ask if she! needed help, because I did not want her to think I was a mugger.
But since my urge to do kindness was burning in me, G-d allowed me to do it by having the elderly lady turn around and ask me to help her. Wow! I could not believe it.
I took her groceries all the way to her apartment. Then she invited me in and we spoke for close to half-an-hour. She told me that she recently lost her husband and needed someone to talk to.
You can’t imagine how great I felt.
Although I did a small act of kindness, I think she did a greater one – by allowing me to help her, she allowed me to experience the true joy of doing kindness.
Mistakes
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
One of my students told me the following:
I’ve tried to help people in various ways. But unfortunately I’ve made mistakes. I’ve introduced people to each other and in the end they didn’t get along. I’ve tried to give people advice and things didn’t work out as well as I thought they would. I’ve tried to get people jobs, but in the end they were dissatisfied. I feel like leaving well enough alone. Why should I try to help people if it will cause them suffering and they will have complaints against me?
The only way you will avoid all mistakes is by not doing anything. But then you won’t accomplish anything. "There is no one wiser than a person with experience," goes a well-known saying. Learn from your mistakes. They are an integral part of your course on becoming an expert at helping people.
If we would wait for a surgeon with a perf! ect record, many lives would be lost because highly competent physicians wouldn’t operate since they were imperfect. If only perfect teachers were allowed to teach, there wouldn’t be very many schools. If only financial advisers whose advice has proven infallible were allowed to practice even the most brilliant financial analysts would have to look for another job. Expertise is within reach, perfection isn’t.
If someone asks you for advice and there are other people who are more qualified to give it, defer to those people. But when you are qualified, don’t allow lack of infallibility to stop you from helping others.
View your mistakes as the price you pay for preventing future mistakes. Be honest about your mistakes. Some people fear mistakes to such a degree that they always claim they were really right. They are so afraid of mistakes that they defend whatever they do as having been the best plan of action. This is a normal reaction, and it takes integrity and co! urage to transcend it. Let the knowledge that you are developing your character make it easier for you to acknowledge mistakes.
Another student explained:
I used to be totally devastated when I made a mistake when trying to help another person. I truly wanted to alleviate the suffering of as many people as possible and to help people improve their lives. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and embarrassment if what I said or did was counterproductive. The turning point for me was when I needed the help of others. When someone sincerely wanted to help me and did all they could, I didn’t expect them to be omniscient and omnipotent. I accepted the outcome as a matter of Divine Providence. This realization gave me the inner strength to learn from my mistakes and to continue being there for others.
Mistakes
Confessions of a Kindness Addict
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
Doing kindness is addictive. If we really want to do kindness, the opportunities will always arise.
One day I had an irresistible urge to do kindness the whole day. As I was walking to the supermarket during my lunch hour, I hoped the whole time that I would have an opportunity to do an act of kindness.
When I left the supermarket, on the way back to my office, I was walking behind an elderly lady who was holding a handful of groceries. I was afraid to approach her and ask if she! needed help, because I did not want her to think I was a mugger.
But since my urge to do kindness was burning in me, G-d allowed me to do it by having the elderly lady turn around and ask me to help her. Wow! I could not believe it.
I took her groceries all the way to her apartment. Then she invited me in and we spoke for close to half-an-hour. She told me that she recently lost her husband and needed someone to talk to.
You can’t imagine how great I felt.
Although I did a small act of kindness, I think she did a greater one – by allowing me to help her, she allowed me to experience the true joy of doing kindness.
Mistakes
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
One of my students told me the following:
I’ve tried to help people in various ways. But unfortunately I’ve made mistakes. I’ve introduced people to each other and in the end they didn’t get along. I’ve tried to give people advice and things didn’t work out as well as I thought they would. I’ve tried to get people jobs, but in the end they were dissatisfied. I feel like leaving well enough alone. Why should I try to help people if it will cause them suffering and they will have complaints against me?
The only way you will avoid all mistakes is by not doing anything. But then you won’t accomplish anything. "There is no one wiser than a person with experience," goes a well-known saying. Learn from your mistakes. They are an integral part of your course on becoming an expert at helping people.
If we would wait for a surgeon with a perf! ect record, many lives would be lost because highly competent physicians wouldn’t operate since they were imperfect. If only perfect teachers were allowed to teach, there wouldn’t be very many schools. If only financial advisers whose advice has proven infallible were allowed to practice even the most brilliant financial analysts would have to look for another job. Expertise is within reach, perfection isn’t.
If someone asks you for advice and there are other people who are more qualified to give it, defer to those people. But when you are qualified, don’t allow lack of infallibility to stop you from helping others.
View your mistakes as the price you pay for preventing future mistakes. Be honest about your mistakes. Some people fear mistakes to such a degree that they always claim they were really right. They are so afraid of mistakes that they defend whatever they do as having been the best plan of action. This is a normal reaction, and it takes integrity and co! urage to transcend it. Let the knowledge that you are developing your character make it easier for you to acknowledge mistakes.
Another student explained:
I used to be totally devastated when I made a mistake when trying to help another person. I truly wanted to alleviate the suffering of as many people as possible and to help people improve their lives. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and embarrassment if what I said or did was counterproductive. The turning point for me was when I needed the help of others. When someone sincerely wanted to help me and did all they could, I didn’t expect them to be omniscient and omnipotent. I accepted the outcome as a matter of Divine Providence. This realization gave me the inner strength to learn from my mistakes and to continue being there for others.
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