Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Undo The "Curses" Of Negative Predictions


The "Kindness" Route
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org


My wife, in her medical condition, was treated like trash in our home state of West Virginia.

Instead of being bitter, I decided to go the "kindness" route -- I became a nurse. Now I know that everyone under my care, no matter what their condition is, will be treated with kindness and will maintain their dignity.

Thank you for sharing your story with the world, I'm sure that it will be an inspiration to everyone that reads it. It's people like you that give me hope for mankind.

Ed. - See this link for my story: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PartnersInKindness/


Undo the "Curses" Of Negative Predictions
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press


"You’ll never amount to anything."

"You won’t be able to cope with such a difficult situation."

"You’re too stupid to understand."

"No one will marry you, and if some unlucky person does, your marriage will be a disaster."

Many people carry an invisible burden. This is the weight of unfavorable predictions about their abilities and future. These "curses" are usually a product of someone’s frustration, anger, resentment, or spite. At times well-meaning parents, teachers, or friends will deliver their negative prognosis in the form of giving advice.

You have the ability to undo these curses. You can point out the limitations of the people who gave those negative forecasts. Some of the things you can say are:

* "No human being has the right to limit another person. Whoever tries to limit you is wrong."

* "You already have learned so much. Keep it up and this trend will take you much further than anyone could foresee."

* "This person was just speaking out of anger. An ang! ry person makes mistakes and spouts untruths. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about."

* "There are others with far less natural intelligence, talents, and skills who have coped well and accomplished much."

* "Don’t give up. If you quit, you will be defeating yourself. By devoting all your inner resources, I guarantee you that you will succeed in the end."

Experts in a field can have the experience to make positive predictions:

* "I’ve been teaching for thirty years and I tell you that you have the intelligence to do well."

* "You have what it takes to cope well. I’ve seen people who couldn’t and I know that you can."

* "I’ve met people with greater handicaps who have put in the effort and have accomplished greatly."

When you meet people who aren’t doing well in some area, interview them for potential negative predictions. "What were the messages your parents and teach! ers gave you about your abilities and future?" "Has anyone ever told you that you wouldn’t be able to succeed?" Use your knowledge, experience, and creativity to help transcend and transform counterproductive predictions to ones that are helpful and beneficial.

It’s easy to issue limiting predictions. It can be difficult to undo their effects. If someone has internalized a negative picture, it can take a lot of effort on your part to counteract it. Be persistent. Your success will help transform this person’s life.

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